Or so I thought I was!
This feeling reminded me of a deep inner void that I used to feel when I was in my teens and early twenties. During this time, I would look to the world to fill this void, but to no avail. Because I’ve been studying Christian Science consistently for the past several years, I felt I could handle this feeling of “void” in a more productive way.
In my prayers, I find it’s important to ‘identity the problem’. If we think we are feeling lust, anger, addiction or depression instead of realizing we are really feeling a void then we will often be distracted by these ‘symptoms’ and not address the root of the problem.
In my prayers I could see that there really is no void since God/Spirit fills all space. God/Spirit is beautiful and perfect, and made man and woman in the image and likeness of the loveliness, wholeness and completeness of Spirit. So, where is this void? Spiritual understanding told me that in reality there was no void.
Who or what feels this void? Mortal man. Mortal man is a term that is synonymous with mortal ego. Mary Baker Eddy, the discover of Christian Science wrote, “Mortal mind sees what it believes as certainly as it believes what it sees.” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 86) This YouTube video explains this ego and it’s self-deception:
So, I could see that only mortal man, or the mortal ego, was believing in a void. Was I going to let this mortal ego boss me around by telling me lies about myself and how I was feeling? No! I then felt completely free of the feeling of depression that had been lingering around me for a few days. I needed to see that this feeling or emotion was outside of me, meaning not a part of me, and this brought about freedom and healing.
I’m so grateful that God has given us spiritual understanding, so that we don’t have to believe the lies of the ego anymore.