Posts Tagged With: relationships

Keeping score or giving 100%?

“It’s not about power; it’s about love.”

This is a beautiful statement that I heard last night.

I was sharing with some friends that my husband often gets up with me when I can’t sleep and will make pancakes for me, watch a movie with me or pray for me.

One of our friends was being cheeky and asked him, “how long do you think this power over you will last?” My husband replied, “it’s not about power; it’s about love.”

Beautiful! He summed up the impetus behind our family’s motives and actions much better than I could.

Often we think about relationships in terms of keeping score – making sure we are doing an equal amount of loving acts, favors and signs of affection for one another.

However, there is a more spiritual way to look at things.

Early on in our marriage, my husband and I were given the gift of attending a seminar called “Celebrate marriage!” (we had only been married a couple of weeks at this time). The speaker shared many valuable things; one idea that has stuck with me is that marriage isn’t about each person giving 50%. Marriage is about each person giving 100%. When each person in a marriage gives 100% all the time, there is no withholding of love or affection. Each person is looking for opportunities to give all the time.

Wow, what a revolutionary and spiritual view of relationships! It really symbolizes our relationship to God, who is always pouring out more love than we could ever accept! God’s love is unconditional (this is illustrated in Christ Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son, for instance). And God doesn’t keep score – thankfully! :)

So, if we are made in God’s image and likeness that means we are capable of loving unselfishly – the way God loves. We can pour out love to the people around us – taking every opportunity to give and not worry about what we might get in return.

This seems like a tall order, but it’s nothing more than a mental discipline – not giving in to fears about lack, limits or the future that would prevent us from being as generous and as loving as we can be this moment.

Christian healer and teacher, Mary Baker Eddy, wrote:

“Human affection is not poured forth vainly, even though it meet no return. Love enriches the nature, enlarging, purifying, and elevating it.” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 57)

And she asks these pointed questions:

“God is Love. Can we ask Him to be more? God is intelligence. Can we inform the infinite Mind of anything He does not already comprehend? Do we expect to change perfection? Shall we plead for more at the open fount, which is pouring forth more than we accept?” (Ibid, p. 2)

Sometimes we may forget just how big and limitless God is. But maintaining this infinite view of God illustrates just how big and limitless the love is that we have to give to each other. And this love blesses us making us feel fulfilled and joyful.

 

 

 

 

Categories: Fatherhood/Motherhood, Love & relationships, Mental health & wellness, Prayer & meditation, Spirituality & healing, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Liking v. Loving

I had the wonderful realization last night that I don’t have to like everyone, but I do get the privilege and have the ability to love everyone. While it might seem easier to love the people that we like, Jesus shows us how to go deeper.

He said, “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35)

This makes me think of Jesus disciples being in one big love fest where everyone gets along and no one has any conflict. However, we have evidence in the Bible that some disciples found it hard to get along. I like to think that even if we don’t like someone we can still have the humility and unselfishness to work together, as Jesus’ disciples did. And we have the spiritual understanding to know that each individual is made in the loving image of God.

In a way, this way of loving each other is a lot simpler than trying to get human personalities to blend. It goes straight to the divine, to the Truth and spiritual state of things. It frees me from even wasting time trying to get human personalities to match up when I can go right to the true idea and get to know each one as the son and daughter of God.

Categories: Community awareness & building, Love & relationships, Spirituality & healing, Theological studies & religion | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What is your identity?

Some might say these are unlikely friends.

Recently, a friend shared how she was praised at church while serving in a particular capacity. The praise was given by a fellow church member. Knowing both of these individuals, I admired their ongoing friendship and the way they appreciate the God-given qualities in one another such as integrity, dependability, honesty, forthrightness, compassion, and care. These individuals have served in church together for many years.

If I look at just the material surface of things, I might wonder how these individuals could be friends since they are so different: you could say one is a conservative, upper-class man while the other a liberal, middle-class lesbian.

How can these two different individuals serve together for decades in church and share a friendship that dives so much deeper than a material sense of things? By truly appreciating one another as God’s child – as brothers and sisters of the one Father-Mother God.

“…man is not material; he is spiritual”, wrote Mary Baker Eddy (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 468). If our identity is spiritual, that means it isn’t made of anything temporal (or temporary). We are made of God’s thoughts, ideas and qualities. This certainly makes me want to get to know who and what God is, so that I can know who and what we are – what we are made of.

God’s being is infinity, freedom, harmony, and boundless bliss.” (Ibid, 481)

God is incorporeal, divine, supreme, infinite Mind, Spirit, Soul, Principle, Life, Truth, Love.” (Ibid, 465)

Meditating on each these synonyms and attributes for God gives us a greater understanding of who God is; and it tells us about what we are made of since we are made in God’s image and likeness. It also reveals how our human relationships can transcend material confines and be harmonious, united and long-lasting.

Categories: Fatherhood/Motherhood, Identity & healing the past, Life, Love & relationships, Science/Metaphysics, Theological studies & religion, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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